Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Chung Fung Lee........................

There was this guy who had a big doubt that his wife was cheating on him and seeing
her college time lover SO he hired a Chinese detective Chung Fung Lee to get some
live and spicy photos of his wife's actions with this fuckin guy.

He informed his wife that he will be away for a week as he is gonna go and attend
a seminar in UK. and stayed in a simple hotel. and sent Mr. Chung Fung Lee to
follow and get photos.

2 days after that : he got a mail.

You go from home.
I stand outside home.

I watch day and night
There is no fight

next day he come
I just outside roam

He hug her
She hug her
I see

He sit in car
she sit in car
I go far   .................. and follow

He go to hotel
She go to hotel
I stand outside ............... and smoke

he book a room
I see the number

He go to room
She go to room
I climb the tree ............. and watch

He hug her
She hug him .................... I see

She strip him
He strip her ..............
I strip myself sir......

He taste her
She taste him
I taste my icecream.......

He play with she
She play with he
I play with me.......

FALL FROM THE TREE.......
NO SEE........
SO NO FEE..........

 
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Turner Brown.......................

Clinton was coming down from an elevator from 105th floor after an inauguration
of  a software company office with covering from 5 FBIs security people AND
had to visit 100th floor for some visit. When the elevator reached the 100th floor
the FBIs got out and a 6.9 feet struggled inside the elevator and Clinton lost his
chance to get out and the door got shut and elevator started towards the ground
floor and the buttons failed due to some technical problems. SO......Clinton looked
at the hefty man and the 6.9 feet NEGRO man gave an ear to ear smile and said..........

Man : I know you are Clinton. I am black.
Clinton : I... I ... Mean I am President..........

Man : [again gave an ear to ear smile] I know who you are. Do you wanna know me better?
Clinton : I..... I .... It's okay.

Man : It's okay. I'll start my Bio-Data.
          Height : 6.9
          Weight : 129 Kg.
          Vital stats : Chest ; 66, waist line 43, Buttocks : 40
          Dick ; 15 inches
          Testicles : [L] 18 lbs. [R] 20 lbs.
          From ; Texas
          TURNER BROWN

Clinton made some faces and went unconscious. [This all happned and they were
on 72nd floor] The man got confused and made lot of attempts to get Clinton to
consciousness but all in vein.

By the time the elevator reached ground floor Clinton came to senses 11 times and
again after looking at the hefty NEGRO went like a dead vegetable time and again.

On the ground floor Clinton came to consciousness again and [by that time FBIs
had reached ground floor] looking at FBIs he came to little comfort and and
challenged the negro hefty guy to threaten him again.
The negro was confused .................... and asked 'THREATENING?' 'WHAT
THREATENING?'

Clinton : [ORDERED] Okay repeat what you said in elevator.

Man : See guy. I know who you are and I'm not gonna screw up with you or my job
          okay?           Now understand and understand straight. Don't mess up with
           me. All the people see me and get anxious to see me and to know my DATA
          So .... I gave you my Bio-Data I told you bout my Height, Weight, Vital
           statistics then I told you the size of my privates and I told you to which place
           I belong and then I told you my name & that is TURNER BROWN.

Clinton : [Gets some color back on his face] THANK GOD! AFTER TELLING ME YOUR
PRIVATE'S SIZE YOU TOLD ME YOUR NAME? WHAT IS IT YOU SAID?

Man : TURNER BROWN.

Clinton : THANK GOD! You said TURNER BROWN and I thought you said

              TURN AROUND...........
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Sugar......................

Clinton : [to Vajpeyee] : Sugar is the only word in English in which 'S' is pronounced as 'SHU'.

Vajpeyee ; ARE YOU SURE?


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Exactly like...............

Boy : You look exactly like my wife.

Girl : Is it?

Boy : Yes! The exact copy you know?

Girl : [Happy] Are you telling me the truth?

Boy : I swear. Why should I lie?

Girl : [More impressed.] What's her name?

Boy : How should I know? I am not yet married. By the way what's your name?
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Foxy game..........................

IN A WILD LIFE CENTURY.............

A tiger is enjoying sex with a tigress in an artificial cave. At that time a FOX comes to
the entrance of the cave about 13.5 meters and challenges the tiger.

FOX : Hey! You fucking rascal. If you've got guts in your ass come out and have a fight
with me AND get screwed from me.

[Tiger continues to do his activity very quietly]

Tigress asks her to be husband ........]

Tigress: What Happened? You are so strong and he is just a fox why don't you go
             fight with him
Tiger : Just forget those value less talks and concentrate on sex.

FOX : [again from outside at a distance of 13.5 meters] What happened? Are you
            planning to wear the bangles in your hand you asshole? If you're born out of
            one father come and have a fight with me and be ready to get your asshole
            screwed from me.

[Again the tiger is quite and tigress gets annoyed and asks a hundred questions
and makes 200 statements BUT tiger cools her down] [Tigress being of imperial
blood says If he says another word I will kill that FOX]

Again after 2 minutes FOX says........

FOX : You asshole are you hiding your face in that fucking tigress's pussy? if you've
           got guts come outside or else send the tigress I'll screw her to the pinnacles
           of ecstacy.

[This time tigress gets annoyed and runs out of the cave to bite and kill the FOX..........]

Looking at the tigress FOX starts running the tigress follows him with full speed.........

FOX is running and tigress is running........

FOX is running and tigress is running.............

They come across a rivulet where there is a big pipe being laid by the wild life century......
FOX enters from the opening so does the tigress after the fox AND gets stuck in the pipe
at the waist. The FOX comes from the other end of the pipe and starts screwing the
tigress...............He does that for 1 hour 35 minutes and before going  Pees and spits
in the privates of the tigress.........

[after trying for hours together tigress manages to get herself free and comes back to the cave and goes to a corner and sits quitely.]

on seeing her tiger asks naughtily...............

Tiger : HUH? What Happened?
Tigress : Well! Well!.......................Nothing.
Tiger : So! Did the fox screw you for an hour and a  half?
Tigress : Ah...? HA......! Well!.......you see.....
Tiger : Forget about getting screwed but before he left he pissed and spited in
           your privates right?
Tigress : Now for heaven's sake how do you know about this?

Tiger : HOW THE FUCKIN ...I KNOW?........LAST 3 DAYS THAT FUCKING FOX WAS SCREWING MY ASS.
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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

N. W. hai kya?.................................

One day mushharaff gets a call at exactly 10.00 am from Vajpeyee.

Vajpeyee : Abe Gandu! Nuclear weapon hai kya?
Musharraff : Haan! Gadhey! hai.
Vajpeyee : Apne Gand mein dal de [and he hung-up the call]

Next day exactly at 10,00 am Musharaff again gets a call from Vajpeyee.....

Vajpeyee : Abe Gandu! Nuclear weapon hai kya?
Musharraff : Haan be chodu! hai.
Vajpeyee : Apne Gand mein dal de [and he hung-up the call]

Third day again at 10.00 am Musharraff gets a call from Vajpeyee.........


Vajpeyee : Abe Gandu! Nuclear weapon hai kya?
Musharraff : Thninks for a while {if he says yes then Vajpeyee will tel him to put it into his ass} - So he plays safe and says]  nahi be landu! Nahi hai.
Vajpeyee : Kyon be chodu Apne Gand mein dal diya kya? [and he hung-up the call]

Next day again at 10.00 am musharraff gets a call from  Vajpeyee................

Vajpeyee : Abe Gandu! Nuclear weapon hai kya?
Musharraff : Thninks for a while {if he says yes then Vajpeyee will tel him to put it into his ass AND if he says no then he will ask whether you have already put it inside} - So he plays safe and says]  nahi be madarchod! Hai bhi AUR Nahi bhi.
Vajpeyee : Kyon bee chodu Gand mein dalkar ANDAR BAHAR kar raha hai kya? [and he hung-up the call]

Musharraff gets annoyed and thinks this OLD MAN is nothing in front of me I am
trained for military warfare and am stronger in body as well as in mind then
this old guy so why not screw his ass.

VERY NEXT DAY MUSHARRAFF CALLS VAJPEYEE AT 9.45 AM AND ASKS...........

Musharraff : Abe Gandu, Madarchod, Chutiye, Bhosdike GADHE sss! NUCLEAR WEAPON HAI KYA?
Vajpeyee : Kyon be gadhe ki aulad GAND MEIN DALNE KI AADAT PAD GAYI KYA?

[AND HUNG-UP THE CALL]
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Thursday, March 3, 2011

Effects of alcohol............................

2 anti alcoholic workers went to a village to preach the ill effects of alcohol
consumption as the whole village was famous for alcohol addiction.

They took a meeting in the evening and showed the films, gave the talks and
seminars so on and so forth and in the end.................

They told that alcohol was so bad that it can cause damage to our immune system
To prove this they took a glass of alcohol and dropped a bunch of worms in it.
Instantly the worms died in couple of minutes. Everyone was silent.
Then the NGO worker asked a wise looking drunked sitting in the front row......
"GENTLEMAN! WHAT DO YOU UNDERSTAND FROM THIS EXPERIMENT?"

The man was silent for a couple of minutes. Then he gave ear to ear smile and said.

"FROM THIS EXPERIMENT WE UNDERSTAND THAT ALCOHOL IS VERY
EFFECTIVE AND BENEFICIAL TO CONTROL THE UNWANTED WORMS
FROM OUR STOMACH. TO KILL THESE WORMS WE SHOULD DAILY
DRINK ALCOHOL."
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No More......................

There was this boozer who used to drink like a fish.

One morning he opened the newspaper and there was a front page news about
25 deaths in the next city due to drinking and special write ups about the effects of
drinking and how to stop drinking and blah blah blah...

"OKAY! FROM TODAY ONWARDS NO MORE" He said out loud.

Wife was really happy to hear that BUT for her satisfaction she asked to confirm
"NO MORE? WHAT?"

Husband said "NO MORE NEWSPAPER IN THE HOUSE."


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Fight.......................

Jim : Yesterday There was a furious fight between you and your wife I suppose.

Ronny : Yes! She was angry and started throwing kitchen Items on me.


Jim : Yes! We all neighbors could hear that. Did You get hurt?

Ronny : No. But I taught her a big lesson.

Jim : Really?

Ronny : YES! In the end she came on her hands and knees crawling to me.

Jim : And what did she say?

Ronny : COME OUT FROM UNDER THAT BED YOU COWARD.
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Heaven and Hell.....................

Rita : Mom I'm not gonna get married to Rihan.

Mom : Why child he is clever, a Businessman and a rich person.

Rita : Mom! But he doesn't have faith and doesn't believe in heaven or hell.

Mom : Don't worry child as soon as he gets married to you he will start believing in
            WHAT HELL IS.
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At the heaven's door..............................

There was a long line in front of heaven door and St. Peter was asking questions and
judging the people and deciding whether they should go to heaven or hell. A man
appeared in front of St. peter.

St. peter : How did you die my child?
Man : I don't know I was running on the footpath to catch the bus and something
heavy fell on my head and I reached here.

St. Peter : Okay you may go to heaven.

Next man came and St, Peter asked him how he died. He started telling his story.

Man : I always had a doubt that my wife was cheating on me so one day I came early
from the office and heard my wife's and another man's voice from inside the bedroom.
I opened the door of the apartment and ran to the bedroom and sure there was man's
cloth lying on the bed and floor but no one could be seen except my naked wife so I
ran to the kitchen and peeped out the window and saw a man running on the footpath
so I lifted the refrigerator and threw it on him. I think that was the man who just now
went to heaven. But out of lifting the heavy refrigerator I got a heart attack and I died.

St. Peter : Okay! All through your life you have gone through hell and were not happy
so you may go to heaven as well Son.

Third man came stark naked, Shivering with cold and St. peter asked him
"Now whats your story? How did you die?

Man : My Lord I was inside the refrigerator.
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Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Heavens Door..........................

A man died and knocked on the doors of heaven. There was a big drum beat and..........
A voice asked "ARE YOU MARRIED?"
Man : "YES MY LORD."
Voice : "Come in son, You've have seen enough of hell in your life."

Another man after a while knocked at the heaven door. There was a big drum beat and...........
The voice asked "Are you married?"
Man : "Yes my lord TWICE."
Voice : "GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, WE DON'T HAVE PLACE FOR FOOLS."
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Family dramas.......................

+] Wife : You always hear from one ear and let go from other.
     Husband : And you hear from both and let go from your mouth.

+] Man : [To fortune teller] Why is my marriage not happening?
      Fortune teller : Cause god has destined happiness throughout your life.

+] Man : Come in, don't be scared. It's our new dog. It won't bite.
    Sales person : Why? This dog doesn't bite?
     Man : That's what I want to find out.

+] Son : Why did you marry dad?
    Mom : See sonny! You also seem to be confused like me.

+] Husband : I had a dream "I was bathing in a pond of honey & you in a pond of cow dung.
     Wife : I too had a similar dream BUT after that You were licking me & I was licking you.

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Law Law & Law.........................

#] Judge : Do you have anything to offer to this hon. court before I pass verdict.
    Defendant : OFFER? No your honor! My lawyer robbed me up to my last penny.

#] Judge : Do you understand that you are sworn to tell the truth?
    Defendant : Yes! Your honor.
    Judge : Do you know the outcome of being untruthful?
    Defendant : Yes! Your honor. The outcome will be "WE WILL WIN".

#] Judge : Last time I told you RIGHT? That I don't want to see you here again.
     Culprit : That's what I tried to tell the cops BUT only if they believe me.

#] Judge : Can you identify the defendant as the murderer?
    Witness : Yes honor I can remember his face as I saw on the day of murder.
    Defendant : Your honor Witness is lying. How could she see my face? I was under
                       mask.

#] What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
    ANS. : Good lawyer knows the law perfectly. BUT a great lawyer knows the
                Judge perfectly.
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Lawyer jokes 4 u......................

#] How do you get a group of lawyers smile for a photo?
     Ans. : Just say 'Fees'.

#] If an apple a day keeps a doctor away then a garlic a day keeps everyone away
        [in turn keeps a lawyer away cause no one will come near you so no legal hassles]

#] Who is Jury?
    Ans. : Jury is collection of people who decide who hired a better liar lawyer.

#] The deadliest terrorist hijacked a jumbo jet full of lawyers and threatened.........
     "TO RELEASE ONE LAWYER EVERY HOUR IF HIS DEMANDS ARE NOT MET."

#] What's the difference between a lawyer and GOD?
      GOD never thinks that he is a lawyer.

#] Lawyer : What is your relation with the plaintiff?
    Witness : She is my daughter.
    Lawyer : Was she your daughter On 17th March 2009?
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Some more lawyers jokes......................

#] Client : "You are a very expensive lawyer. I am a poor man.
                If I give you Rs. 100 per question will you answer my two questions?"
     Lawyer : "Definitely! Now what's your second question?"

#] 1st man : do you know how to save 5 lawyers who are drowning?
    2nd man : No!
    1st man : That's good.

#] 2 lawyers were negotiating on a property case of 2 brothers.
     1st lawyer said : See friend let's be honest with each other.
     2nd lawyer : Okay! You first.
    That was the end of the negotiation.

#] 1 lawyer, 1 doctor and 1 engineer gathered for their dentist friends funeral.
    Doctor said "in our family we have a tradition of offering some money to the
    dead person. saying this he dropped $ 100 bill over the coffin. The engineer also
    dropped a $ 100 bill over the coffin. The lawyer took both the bills and wrote out
     a bank cheque for $ 300.
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Lawyers jokes................

#] Where do Vampires learn to suck blood?
     Ans. : In Law colleges.

#] Two law partners left the office for a lunch party. In the middle of the party the junior partner slapped his forehead and said "oh shucks! I forgot to lock the office safe before we left." His partner replied "What the fuck you are afraid about? We both are here."

#] Lawyer : [To a witness] What is your date of birth?
     Witness : March 21st.
    Lawyer : Which year?
     Witness : Every year.

#] What do UFOs and Honest lawyers have in common?
     Ans. : You always hear about them, But never see them in reality.

#] How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
     Ans. : His lips are moving.

#] How can you tell when a lawyer is telling the truth?
     Ans. : His lips are shut.


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Carved wooden box................................

They were happily married for 25 years and on the 25th wedding night husband was searching for an important office file in the wardrobe and found a carved wooden box hidden inside the locker box of his wife. He opened it and found that there were brand new unfolded 3 bills of 100 dollars each and 3 peanuts inside it. He went on searching for the file and got it at last and finished the pending work.

At night, While on the bed, he asked his wife about the carved wooden box. She was zapped to know that he had found the box. She then started crying and said. "Joseph I would like to confess something. Only if you can forgive me." He said "No problems dear. This is a fast pace life and we are tend to make mistakes, I too have done it once in my life. So go on I am ready to accept and digest the reality."

She said "Oh! Joseph You know for last 20 years since you took up the traveling marketing job and used to be away for days together out of the house. I used to feel horny and used to cheat on you and whenever I used  to do that I used to keep a peanut in the carved wooden box."

Husband thought for a while and said "okay Honey! I forgive you cause you have done it only 3 times. Fine If I was in your place may be I would have done the same." "So it's okay." After a while he asked again but what about the 3 bills of 100 dollars?

This time wife gave a ear to ear smile and said "You know Joseph, When the box used to get full of peanuts I used to sell them for Dollars 10 per Kg."
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Some more naughty [double-reloaded]....................

$] There was this couple who decided to have only four children BECAUSE
              They read a newspaper report saying that
                      "EVERY FIFTH CHILD BORN IN THE WORLD IS CHINESE."

$] Every time when he was asked why he holds his wife's hand when they go out......
               He answers...... "IF I LET GO, SHE SIMPLY SHOPS."

$] MARRIAGE is a process that puts one ring on a woman's finger
                                        AND
               TWO RINGS UNDER THE MAN'S EYE.

$] LOVE IS A SWEET DREAM
    MARRIAGE IS A ALARM CLOCK.

$] A happy marriage is a matter of GIVE and TAKE.
    HUSBAND GIVES AND WIFE TAKES.
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Some more naughty [reloaded]....................

$] Getting married is like going to a restaurant with a friend........
                You order what you want and when you see what your friend ordered.......
                        You wish you had ordered that.

$] When a newly married man looks happy, everyone knows WHY.
             BUT when a 15 year married man looks happy, everyone WONDER 'WHY?'

$] How do most men define marriage?
           An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

$] There was this hero who said to this girl that he would go through hell for her.......
                      THEY GOT MARRIED
    AND NOW................ HE IS GOING THROUGH HELL !!!!!!

$] They say that when a man holds the hands of his women
             Before marriage - LOVE.
             After marriage - SELF-DEFENSE.
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Some more naughty....................

$] If a man opens the door of his car for his wife - you can be sure..............
         [either the car is new or his wife]

$] It is true that all men are born free and equal.................
        [BUT some of them get married]

$] Marriage is a 3 ring business..................
        [ENGAGEMENT RING, WEDDING RING AND SUFFERING]

$] Old man getting married to a young girl is like....................
        [Buying a best seller book for others to read]

$] A perfect wife is the one who helps her husband..................
        [for cooking, cleaning, washing and the dishes]
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Blurting....................

There was this man..............

Who blurted something in the church........

and got himself MARRIED !

LATER...........

He blurted something in the sleep..........

and got himself DIVORCED.
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Lucky..................

Two men met in a restaurant.

1st : My wife is an angel.

2nd : You are really lucky man! Mine is still alive.
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Happiness.......................

There was this man Who made a statement.............

"I NEVER KNEW WHAT HAPPINESS WAS UNTIL I GOT MARRIED.......

BUT THEN IT WAS TOO LATE."
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Biology & Sociology......................

Wanna see how Johny answered a question in the exam paper? Here it goes............

QUESTION :

What is a point of difference between BIOLOGY and SOCIOLOGY?

ANSWER :

If the baby looks like the father it is BIOLOGY

AND

When the baby looks like the neighbor it's SOCIOLOGY.
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No resting......................

In the beginning ..................... God created earth and rested.

Then God created man and rested.

Then God created woman since then...........

Neither God nor Man has rested ever.


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Kidding huh? .........................

Little Johny met his next door neighbor.

Johny : Uncle I think I deserve $ 10 from you Or else.........?
Neighbor : Or else? OR ELSE WHAT?

Johny : Or else I'll tell everyone what I saw yesterday in the afternoon in your bedroom.
Neighbor : and what is that you saw dear?

Johny : I saw you having doggy style sex with aunty.
Neighbor : Ha Ha Ha! You are kidding right?

Johny : KIDDING? I saw it with my own eyes.
Neighbor : Go kid with someone else. I was out of station for 2 days and just came back this morning.
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Cost of marriage..................

One teenage son asked his father.

Son : Hey dad! I wanna marry my girlfriend. How much does it cost to get married?

Dad : Well! I really don't know son. I'm still paying.
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Wrong finger.......................

At a Fashion show 2 old friends met.

Rose : Hi! Jasmine howz life? Long time no see.
Jasmine : Fine yaar! Was busy. By the way I got married last year.

Rose : Wow! That's great. BUT aren't you wearing the wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Jasmine : Yes! That's because I married a wrong man.
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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Marriage [part VI] .........................

They were married for 50 years. An interviewer came to interview them live on a Tv. show.

Interviewer : Sir, You are married for 50 years, Did you ever thought about divorce in your life?

Man : Divorce? Never! , MURDER? Yes!!!!!! But Never DIVORCE.
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Marriage [part V] .........................

A man puts up an advertisement in a magazine "WIFE WANTED."

Next day he got 10,000 applications saying that...........

"YES YOU CAN HAVE MINE."
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Marriage [part IV] .........................

After returning from honeymoon a friend noticed that the couple was not on talking terms.

So he took the husband aside and asked what was the matter.

Husband : After the first night as per my practice I placed $ 50 in my wife's hand and
                went to toilet out of habit.

Friend : Don't worry man ! She will come out of this shock and behave with you normally.

Husband : That is not bothering me BUT what is bothering me is she gave me $ 25 in change back.
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Marriage [part III] .........................

A husband and his wife went for a farm show. They came across a Big Bull there was a note
[This bull mated for 365 days last year]

Wife looked at the husband and made a gesture of insult to him and said you know that
is almost once a day. you should learn from him. [Husband kept quite]

After some time they came across another bull with a note [This bull mated for 730 times last year]

Wife gave a devilish look again and said That averages about 2 times a day. Learn something from
this bull or drink his urine. [Husband kept quite]

After some time they came across another bull and there was a note ---> [This bull mated for
1460 times last year]

Wife was wild this time and said eat his dung man he mated 4 times in a day. You should learn some
Lessons from all this bulls you know !!!

Husband got wild this time and said "I KNOW THEY ARE GOOD. AND SO AM I.
GO AND ASK THE BULL OWNERS WHETHER THESE BULLS HAD THE
SAME COW EVERYTIME? AND YOU'LL GET THE ANSWER."
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Marriage [part II] .........................

This lady was having fun with her lover............and............The phone rang. [She answered]

 He: Who was it?
She: My husband.

[He started dressing up and getting ready to go]

She: where are you going?
He: Your husband must be coming so I should push off.

She; Relax Dear! he called me to inform that he will be coming home late cause
        HE IS BUSY PLAYING CARDS WITH YOU.

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Marriage [part I] .........................

After a ferocious quarrel a wife said to husband "You Asshole I shouldn't have married you,
I WAS A FOOL WHEN I MARRIED YOU."

Husband replied "I know Dear at that time, I was in love with you and I didn't
NOTICE THIS FACT."
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Males to wives....................

Who cares bout your heart and soul,
All I want is your hole,

Every time I tell you that I love you,
All I mean is I wanna screw you,

And when I asked your hand in matrimony
It was for a shag not wedding band.
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Hindi Sher...............

Jab tere chikoo the - Sab tere pichoo the,

Jab tere aam huve - Sab pareshan huve,

Jab tere kharbuje huve - Sab bade ajoobe huve,

Jab tere jhul gaye - Sab tuze bhul gaye.
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Orgasm.....................

A man asks wife - "Why don't you tell me when you have orgasm?"

Wife : "You are never home when I have one."
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Girlfriends...................

My girlfriends are like medicines........................

They both come with

EXPIRY DATES.
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Incredible India................

Incredible India :-

We live in a nation.....!!!

Where Pizza reaches home faster than Ambulance and Police.

Where you get car loan at 5% and Educational loan at 12%.

Where rice costs Rs. 33 but Sim card is free.

Footwear that we wear is sold in a/c showrooms BUT vegetables that we eat are sold on footpaths.

Where we make lemon juice with artificial flavors and dish wash with pure lemon.

Truly AMAZING INDIA.
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Fight.................

Man who fight with their wife the whole day.


Don't get the hole piece at night.
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Virginity.......................

Definition of VIRGINITY.....................

A big issue over a small tissue.
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Lightest thing.........................

What is the lightest thing in this world.

DICK !!!!!!!

Even a thought can raise it.
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Infants...............

Do infants love Infancy

as much as

Adults love adultery ???????????????
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2 at a time....................

Why do women have 2 set of lips?

So they can piss and moan at the same time.
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Bill Gates...............

What did Bill Gates wife say on first night.

"NOW I KNOW WHY YOU NAMED THE COMPANY MICROSOFT"
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Well hung......................

What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?

WELL HUNG!
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Speed of sex.....................

Why is 68 the highest speed of sex for girls?

Cause........

for 69 they have to turn around.
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China man......................

Perplexed china man

I no come........

Wife no come..........

Child come...........

How come???????????
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School time.................

Teacher: Why did you laugh?

Boy: I saw a strap of your bra.

Teacher: GET OUT sssss of the class for one week.

[2nd boy laughs]

Teacher: Why did you laugh?

Boy: I saw both the straps.

Teacher: GET OUT sssss of the class for one month.

[Teacher bent down to pick up the fallen pen]
[Little Johny started walking out of the class]

Teacher; Johny why are you walking out?

Johny: I think my school days are over.
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Eunuch...............

A sardar sees a beautiful eunuch [Hijra] and asks

Are you Prostitute?

Eunuch replies "NO I AM SUBSTITUTE."
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Politricks..............

Musharraf:  [to Vajpeyee] Can you swim?

Vajpeyee: Na.

Musharraf: Dog is better than you. It can swim.

Vajpeyee: Can you swim Mr. Musharraf?

Musharraf: Yes of course.

Vajpeyee: Then what's the difference between YOU and a DOG?
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Diffrence...............

*] What's the difference between pickpocket and peeping Tom?

One snatches watches and other watches snatches.



*] What's the difference between billiards and sex?

In billiards the balls go in and stick stays out and in sex sticks go in and balls stay out.
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